Monday, 4 June 2018

We cannot live till we realize that we were once dead.

It’s been a while since I wrote something - and probably a while more till I do - but in the meantime, I thought I’d just try to constantly update this space with the latest stuff I’m working on, even if I don't have any topic I feel I need to write a full entry about.

So above is my latest Music Video, for the song None Good.

Jason (my videographer) and I really wanted to do something where we played with speeds using moving steadicam shots, and we managed to do that at the Marina Bay Carnival, and we were really happy with it!

It’s the 2nd MV I’ve released from my Debut EP, and I’m currently working on a 3rd one! Which song do you think it’s for? Make a guess! ;)

(This is clearly for the 5 people who still visit this site im sorry guys lolol)

Friday, 2 March 2018

Nobody deserves sexual assault.

I don’t usually chime in on serious issues but I’ve feeling so unsettled over recent news about assault cases (including one back home about an actor), and I felt I cannot just stand by and do nothing.

While I’m thankful that I’ve never encountered anything close to this, I have friends who have told me similar stories and as a girl, their stories break my heart. What has been frustrating me the most are some of the comments I've seen on the internet, and I just wanna take a moment to talk about some of them:

1. “Why don’t they just report to the police immediately? Why wait so many years? Must be fake.”

I know friends who have told their parents immediately, and sometimes you’d think the ones who gave birth to you, brought you up, loved you and fed you would side you, but for many of these parents, they tell their child not to speak about it, because if they go public about their daughter's rape, they will feel like they will have to live the rest of their lives in shame.

Imagine the betrayal. If your own parents don't believe you, why would the police?

Sometimes girls they do report it immediately to authorities, but you don't know because sometimes even the authorities cover it up. (Re: Larry Nassar Assault Case, if you've the time to read)

Also, sometimes the abuser normalizes it, and makes you feel it’s not something you should report.

Sometimes it happens with no witnesses and no proof. Put yourself in the girl's shoes, won't you too feel like no one is gonna believe you? (especially when there are a few women who have screwed it up for the rest of the world by really crying wolf.)

It’s not so simple y'all.

2. “How do you know the text messages are not fabricated?”

Lies are never fabricated to such level of detail.

When someone’s able to provide such acute details, they are most likely telling the truth.

And I recognize the truth of what all these girls say because they are willing to expose their vulnerabilities, including actions they regret as well, such as going back to meet him etc. (I mean why leave room for people to point fingers at you if your goal is to paint a false story right? If I wanted to make something up I'd make sure I looked like a saint pls)

Which leads me to the next question, the most controversial comment about one particular story.

3. “Why did the girl keep going back to his hse?"

This is possibly the biggest point of attack I’ve been seeing, which is basically, translated, “She deserved it.”

No, nobody deserves sexual assault.

But why did she keep going back? Well, I'm sure there are a ton of reasons. Judging from the story, it seems that said actor made her feel he was interested in her, feel that they were starting to “date” (explains why she got upset learning abt other girls too, because she realized she was simply being used), so each time, she gave in, because she was made to feel that this could perhaps lead to a relationship.

Maybe she was starstruck, or that someone famous desired her. I don't know.

But whatever the case, I am for sure that she kept going back because she hoped that he'll change, that he'll eventually love her.
Because NOBODY goes back to a bad place without the hope that things are going to get better.

So yes it sounds like she did something stupid, and we've all made stupid decisions that we regret later on, but her bad decisions don't make him any less of a rapist.

And to all the people who make it sound like it’s so easy to just “not go back”,

good for you.

Good for you that you never made any emotionally-driven decision. Good for you that you had good upbringing. Good for you that you've never had to grow up in brokenness and confusion that affects your esteem, and makes you desperate for love and acceptance. Good for you, but don't use it to beat someone else down. But if you look back now and recall a time where you did go through this, then I implore you to judge less, and empathize more.

I, for one, also feel that in this point in my life, will find it easy to never return in that situation, but I cannot say the same about a much younger teenage me, who was confused and possibly very easily manipulated.

In fact, growing up as a girl, there were a ton of things that are far more "easy" to do.

It was easy to look at perfect and beautiful supermodels, then look at ourselves and not feel pretty enough.
It was easy to watch movies where most female characters’ goal in life is to get the perfect guy, then look at our lives and not feel fulfilled enough.
It was easy to look at friends around us having lots of guys fawning over them, then looking at our own lives and not feel wanted enough.

And many abusers prey on those insecurities, those vulnerabilities, to get a girl to comply even when they don’t want to. It breaks my heart to see that and because I know there are some really young girls reading this, I pray that someday come to learn this, just like how I did half a decade ago:

You are loved, and you are valuable. 

You don't need validation from anyone, or any guy for that matter.

You are pretty not because a guy says so, but because you are your Creator's masterpiece.
You are fulfilled not because you have a guy in your life, but because you are able to do whatever you set your mind to.
You are wanted not because a guy is interested in you, but because God so loved you He sent his son to die for you.

I hope you understand this someday, and have the courage to run away from anything less.


Aside to actor:

If make you are truly a Christian as you claim to be, I hope you know - and I hate to say this - that Jesus loves you with no conditions despite all the crap that you’ve done. I’ll leave you with a portion of what Rachel Denhollander said in her impact statement:

"If you have read the Bible you carry, you know the definition of sacrificial love portrayed is of God himself loving so sacrificially that he gave up everything to pay a penalty for the sin he did not commit. By his grace, I, too, choose to love this way. 

You spoke of praying for forgiveness. But Larry, if you have read the Bible you carry, you know forgiveness does not come from doing good things, as if good deeds can erase what you have done. It comes from repentance which requires facing and acknowledging the truth about what you have done in all of its utter depravity and horror without mitigation, without excuse, without acting as if good deeds can erase what you have seen this courtroom today.

If the Bible you carry says it is better for a stone to be thrown around your neck and you throw into a lake than for you to make even one child stumble. And you have damaged hundreds.

The Bible you speak carries a final judgment where all of God's wrath and eternal terror is poured out on men like you. Should you ever reach the point of truly facing what you have done, the guilt will be crushing. And that is what makes the gospel of Christ so sweet. Because it extends grace and hope and mercy where none should be found. And it will be there for you. 

I pray you experience the soul crushing weight of guilt so you may someday experience true repentance and true forgiveness from God, which you need far more than forgiveness from me -- though I extend that to you as well."

Friday, 17 November 2017

All Our Achilles Heels.

What is newwww I have been so busy making work D; but if you'd like to listen to my Debut EP you can find it here:

Have a great weekend you guys! ;)

Sunday, 10 September 2017

This is my 2nd post of the year I should be ashamed.

I can't believe I haven't posted in about 9 months (3/4 of the year is gone lol whut??).

I don't know how many people are still visiting this page man, but I guess I'll do a short update haha.

So I haven't really written here in a while cos writing with the drawings here is just too time consuming these days with the fulltime job + music in the picture soz hahah. So I'm mainly gonna just be writing writing for this post, and roughly fill you in on what has gone down in the past 9 months.

So apart from making a load of crazy videos with the team at SGAG (we shot CNY vids with a video team for the first time, did a Kdrama parody and a buncha other super fun videos I love my job), I also worked on my debut EP, recorded in Nashville, and shot a Music Video for one the songs.

You can check it out here:

So yeah work has been so busy, and I've been working on all my music stuff outside of all my office hours - sounds exhausting but I love creating new art and I've had so much grace to pull through, so if anything I've learnt rest better than ever. My personal projects take so much more time than the stuff I do for work though, so it just makes me so happy to see everything I've been working on quietly for the past year starting to come together!

So the full EP "All Our Achilles Heels" will be launched on 20th September 2017, but you can pre-order it now and get 2 instant gratification tracks!

This record might just be the proudest thing I've made in my life because I've poured more personal stories and emotions into it than anything else I've worked on, and I am just so excited to have it finally manifest and see the light of day.

Will update more soon hopefully!

Gonna take a rest now, it's another work day tomorrow!

Sunday, 29 January 2017

The Side-Project Syndrome.

Happy Chinese New Year you guys.

So I actually intended to write this as soon as the year began, but I have been so busy and this is the first time in a while where I have a free night + can sleep in a little the next day (you have no idea how rare these nights come by now).

So I'm updating partially because I kinda feel like I owe the 6 people still reading this blog an explanation for my negligence of this space for half a year lol. So here's why.

Reason 1: Work (which I love btw).

So this used to be a space I would write fun stuff because the stuff I wrote for school was usually serious stuff, and I was working on only 1-2 stories a semester. It was a little boring and I needed to entertain myself.

Then I got a job coming up with funny ideas. The turnovers are super fast when you're working with social media, and I’m now writing 2-3 ideas in a day, and at least 1-2 scripts in a week. If you count that by ‘semester’, that’s about 26 stories in a semester, and my brain has limits.

It’s just way too much to write, and sometimes I go home and the only thing I wanna do is crash on my bed and rot, after dragging myself to do some chores.

But sometimes I can't, because I have other things I'm excited to work on outside of work. So that's when I realise I have issues, and this here comes-

Reason 2: I call it the side-project syndrome.

I'll explain. I've always seen the importance of side projects, as a bid to allow you to never lose your passion. This blog was one of the side projects I'd had while studying, and it got me a job which is pretty much amazing. And if one project can get me to do something fun for a living, I'm certain others can bear their own fruits in their special way too.

Austin Kleon very aptly wrote in his book, 'Show Your Work' which I was recently reading:

So the thing is, since this blog has sort of already 'borne fruit', I would continue to go crazy with it, but I just find myself less of an amateur here now (a la the definition above, not saying I'm a pro). So I'm still keeping it as a side project, but spending less time here and more time on a lot of others.

(Edit: I just realised that "They take chances, experiment, and follow their whims. Sometimes, in the process of doing things in an unprofessional way, they make new discoveries" is really just a secular rehash of Proverbs 16:9, which I've found very close to my heart lately. 

"A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps"
kinda sounds like, what's the point of even planning anyway? But I've been learning that the point is to just kept walking and carving a course anyway, because God cannot guide a parked car. He cannot direct your steps until you start planning. When you start doing things and trying a new way, you'll invariably make new discoveries, but how much better when these new discoveries are led by the spirit for you to stumble upon? :) Really want to get to a place where if I plan something and find myself having to take another path because I'm led to, I'll be perfectly cool with it. )

If you're wondering, here are some:

1) A Logbook.

Actually I don't think I even consider this a side project because it's just so easy to do. So one of my main aims for this year was to take out that pen and paper and embrace analog once again. It’s been such a great decision, and it somehow feels more cathartic than writing on my phone or laptop. I like how it's a private side project too, no one is privy to whatever I write, but I can look through it again at the end of the year and remember every little good thing of 2017.

2) A Vlog Series.

I get the best inspiration when I'm out of the country. And when I went to Japan last Oct, I thought I'll try documenting it just because I'd never done this before, and again, I wanted to be an amateur at it. This was the first time I'd edited a vlog. I still have part 2 which I have yet to do up omg but I will very soon I promise. 

3) Music Experiments.

So I started a new worship series on my Youtube Channel and I'm also working on an EP at the moment so it can get pretty busy on work nights, but it's been pretty fun! There's been a lot to settle so hopefully I can tell you more when I've got more things tightened up!

But that's basically all I'm working on! I am sorry if it seems like I won't be back soon again to update. I feel like I’m constantly needing to change creatively, be it delving into something completely uncharted, or just making changes to something I've always been working on, but I think that’s precisely it: that I only get better by change, by always staying an amateur.

Anyhoos, I’m still gonna try my best to keep this site alive. At most I'll just let go of the domain.

In the meantime, you can follow everything new I'm working on above! I promise you it'll be just as exciting or better.

I also try to post updates on instagram. Keyword is try.

Lastly, sorry if this post wasn't very funny but if you're looking for funny, then just follow SGAG on all social media and try to spot my jokes there lol.

Thanks everyone for reading this blog for the past I-don't-know-how-long-since-I've-had-it though. I really appreciate it. Have a wonderful 2017! Love yall.

Sunday, 19 June 2016

Read this if you're thinking of cutting your hair short.

Omg guys what am I doing with my life.

^A question every girl would’ve asked herself EVERY TIME SHE HAS CUT HER HAIR TOO SHORT.

I apologise that most of this site is rubbish (and I also apologise for my lack of updates) but this is just a note to my future self, should I decide to cut my hair short again, because sometimes I just don’t understand why girls will have moments in their lives where they think it’s a good idea to cut their hair short. Keyword: think.

You see, a select few females in this world can pull off short hair, and 99% of these girls who can pull it off are usually just ridiculously good-looking people (e.g. Emma Watson), who could probably pull it off too if they shaved their heads and had grass for hair. However, the sad reality is that most of us are about as attractive as tables could get......

.....But we decide to cut our hair short anyway.

Someone explain this phenomenon i cannot.

Okay not all girls, but I know so many of us who decide to do this then regret it.

I feel like it's just this really sick thrill where I've just been trying to push the boundaries of how short my hair can go before I actually realise this is 50% of my face I am messing with and it's not a joke.

Yknow how when you were in Primary school, you'd sit and lean back on your chair just to see how far you could go before you actually tip over? And that moment when you lean really far but still make it back down on all four chair legs, and you get this mini cheap sense of accomplishment...

which makes you wanna lean back again and see if you can go even further?


I swear it's the same thing.

Because I've been into short(-er) hair for quite a while now, so I'd been cutting it till around my shoulder each time, i.e. the safe zone. It wasn't until 2 haircuts ago that I accidentally cut it a bit shorter than usual, which I freaked out for the first day, but then realised it was actually a pretty great length.

And because this "mistake" turned out to be quite an optimal length, I just wanted to see that if I tried it again just slightly shorter the next time, would it somehow be 'even more optimal?'

So I did just that...... fell flat on my back. I'd reached THE optimal length the previous time. Should not have gone further.

If you're not much of a reader, here's a graph that can help you illustrate the last 2 paragraphs:
Okay so that (i.e. my eagerness to go one step further), coupled with the fact that my hairdresser was way too excited about snipping my hair off, basically escorted me straight into a pit. Hairdresser dude totally did nothing to discourage me whatsoever, and in fact told me he'll go just slightly (<-lies) shorter and it'll look great.

I don't know why I gave consent.

It was alright for the first day, then I was hoping it'll grow out to be at perfect zone like the previous haircut, but NOPE. Again, I was wrong. It was just a series of bad hair days after.


They don't tell you that you gotta blow dry the hair every day if you want it to look good, but nobody got no time for dat I'm busy paying the bills.

Here's me right after my haircut where it was blow-dried, and still relatively easy on the eye. Shocking, but not the worst to come. Taking a photo to remember the trauma.

Then you'd think it'd look like that for the next few months at least, but NOPE.

Here's me on most days after that where I obviously have no time to blowdry my hair:


Lol ok just kidding, there's no picture because who takes selfies on bad hair days.

Anyway my hair is at the very awkward length now where it's long enough to make me feel hot, but it's too short for me to tie it up and escape this heat. And it's still bad hair days 90% of the time.

I signed up for short hair, not the freaking dedicate-your-life-to-hair-maintenance club. So imma forever keep within the perfect/safe zone from now and not try anything stupid. Because I need it at a length where I can, at the bare minimum, just tie it up on a bad hair day.

And to end off, my dear future self, if you’re thinking of cutting your hair short again, PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

You are probably not gonna listen to me.

Monday, 7 March 2016

Random Highlight of the Day #2

I feel like we complain and take to heart smelly people on the train way too much and way too often. We ignore the scentless ones, when really, we should be feeling grateful every time we ride the train and don't smell anything but air.

So you know what, the ones who go the extra mile to smell nice, those people -- I applaud you. You deserve a medal.

And thank you for smelling nice today, you random adjacent human on the train. It made my journey very pleasant.

(This was in not meant to be creepy.)