Wednesday, 27 November 2013

I will never complain that caifan is boring ever again.

I apologise for the melodrama but I just really miss the food back home so badly it's driving me nuts.

It's so bad that everytime I think about some random food item from home I feel as though my heart just kind of disintegrates into this pile of tiny starving beggars who immediately try to squirm their way out of my body and the minute they are expelled through my pores, they pray that the wind takes them on a journey back to Singapore and hopefully lands them in a bowl of wanton mee.

However reality is harsh and I think not every one of them tiny beggars are gonna make it all the way back to Singapore because there are millions of them, and probably only the strongest one will make it while the rest are just gonna die halfway and now I sound like I am describing sperm.

By the way have I mentioned before that when I was small I read this book called ‘Willy the Sperm’ and it tried to explain the fertilization process, except it had a horrible loophole because it said that when Willy was in sperm school, he was depressed because all his friends were really good at things like math and art, but he was only good at swimming.

(Of course, he was finally appreciative of his only talent on the day he won ‘The Big Race’.)

But anyways, they later showed that the baby that was eventually born grew up to be really good at swimming but that doesn’t really make sense does it, because then every single one of us would be great swimmers because we’re all technically made of the Willys of every sperm school.

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