ifonlywefartflowers

ifonlywefartflowers

Monday, 22 June 2015

Carousell: My boyfriend's latest obsession.

Some of my friends really like it when I write about my boyfriend (like here and here), so here's another one after a gazillion years. Enjoy.

So, when school ended a couple of months back, Raph decided to explore the Carousell scene.

He wasn't so sure about a lot of things at first like he kept asking me "Why are all the female sellers on carousell so chio??" etc and I was so confused until I realised he was referring to the girls in the thumbnails of clothes being sold.

And I had to explain to him they were all models from the catalogues that female sellers copied from clothing sites to use as the thumbnails for their clothes it is not the sellers themselves. (if you don't use Carousell you probably won't get this lol but it's okays you will probably get the rest.)

But anyways for the first night he was on the app he was so excited about it and I was kinda annoyed because we didn't have a single real conversation in the car, because I was busy being his personal secretary.

Yes, clients.

Okay maybe I was just slightly impressed jealous because in his first 12 hours on the app, he literally made more than a $100 or something??? Which is a lot of money from selling junk in his house. Like I don't even understand how his stuff gets sold. Because,

1) He sells the weirdest things (it baffles me who would want to buy his KaiKai JiaJia commemorative panda stamp like who even searches for something so strange and specific on Carousell??). 

Examples of some:



Because apparently there are people out there who want gold bar replicas.


10 bucks for plane stamps for airmail inception or something.


 
Ok this isn't exactly a weird item it's just funny how he made this ordinary notebook sound so desirable, and how someone actually fell for it. Which leads me to the next point,


2) His item descriptions are also *hilariously* weird. 

Examples of some (brace yourself for lots of "beautiful" items):

I died at this one and as you can see the exclamation marks really work, it got sold. #carouselltips



Ok and the funniest part is that he isn't even trying to be funny he really sincerely means everything he writes in his item descriptions.

Anyway so I was scrolling through his listings the other day laughing/crying to myself when I saw that he'd put up his platypus soft toy for sale. And I love his platypus because it's the cutest thing in his room so I called him and I'm like:

(by the way, weird 'bar of soap'-looking things are supposed to be handphones)


















But I complied anyway.

And proceeded with business protocol, because things could not have gotten any weirder.

(The following takes place while we are literally still on the phone with each other sometimes I don't even know what is this relationship)



In the end he sold it to this other guy though. Who needed it more than me so I was cool. Like it was quite a sweet story, apparently this guy's son had a Show And Tell coming up in school (Animal edition) and he wanted to go up and talk about his favourite animal the platypus.

He wanted to bring a toy platypus to the class, but no one sells them in Singapore you have to ship it from Australia or something. So this dad tried looking on Carousell and was so psyched that he actually found this being sold so obviously when a sweet father is trying to make his son happy you can't not sell a platypus to him right??

Anyways,  Raph is seriously on a Carousell roll earning so much money off it he made this joke that he might someday become a full-time carouseller. I was not amused. I just hope he doesn't run out of things to sell in his house and eventually put me up for sale or something.



P.S. Hii. I'll be in Sydney for the next 2 weeks so I'm giving myself a break from posting stuff the next 2 Mondays. I might post still though. I'll see. Depends on my mood. Probably not. I'd rather instagram Kangaroos. If I meet some. Hopefully I get to meet a real-life platypus too and get over the loss of the toy one.

P.P.S. Hi guys thanks for the unexpectedly overwhelming response to this post I am so happy to have made so many of you happy! Also special thanks to Carousell who found the post and decided to be cool and said they'll be sending us some "Carousell swag" soon. I don't really know what that is but I assured them that Raph will not sell it on carousell.

P.P.P.S. By the way, thanks to everyone who pointed out the "plague" error also, it is indeed hilarious I don't know how I missed that out.

P.P.P.P.S. This isn't very related to the post but I thought of this while writing the last P.S., which is that I dont really understand how "P.S. I love you" became a popular romantic book/movie centred around the titular message written in a letter, and how it spawned a wave of hopeless romantics who also started to use that in their love letters too. Because PS = post script = written after you signed off = something important you missed out while writing the actual letter and hence you're still putting it in after you've already concluded it. So in short, "P.S. I love you" is nothing but "Ohya by the way, I love you. Sorry I forgot." How is that even romantic omg can you just rewrite your letter

4 comments:

  1. love your writing and drawings!

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