Sunday, 13 December 2015

An Embarrassing Story.

I have no ideas.

I’m literally staring at a blank screen right now and there’s a ton of stuff I’d like to write about, but I'm in one of those moods where I'm super hard on myself and every single idea I go through just seems completely unamusing to me.

Anyway I just thought I’d do a blind portrait of myself (ie draw without looking at the screen), just to see how good I am at it.

This is so close to my actual face you have no idea. Okay I’m gonna draw a few more blind portraits for fun. I’ll write the answers after, so you can guess it while it’s being drawn.

(Answer: My dog)

(Answer: Blind man)

(Answer: Orange)

By the way, just so you know how embarrassing I actually am in real life, I was drawing with my eyes closed in a Starbucks filled with people. I am generally not very afraid of embarrassment*, because of an embarrassing event that happened to me once when I was 13. It was so bad that every embarrassing thing that has happened since was a total breeze. I still haven’t found anything that can top that and remind me again of what it feels like to be truly embarrassed. Good times.

*by the way, I know my boyfriend embarrasses me a lot, which is different, because he does embarrassing things bY CHOICE. But I'm talking about the kind where you end up as the joke of the century out of nowhere. Okay read on you'll get it.


So when I was 13 and just entered secondary school, I was getting on the bus one day and I had this backpack that was fat-ass because I had to carry a ton of french textbooks to 3rd language class that day. You'll see why the bag makes a difference later, but just note for now that I was a very ugly awkward sec1 tween.

So I got on the bus and barely took 5 steps down the aisle,
When the bus uncle accelerated suddenly.

I was literally on the floor flailing my arms and legs in the air like an actual overturned turtle.

And struggled to regain balance and as I looked up to this horror of a sight:
^That thing at the bottom is supposed to be my knees. It's my attempt at a POV drawing, I tried.

It was the worst thing ever. There was this group of ahbengs from some irritating/noisy boys school sitting at the back row who just erupted in the loudest laughter ever, and everyone else in the bus was either suppressing theirs or also uncontrollably laughing, including like this random unsympathetic old lady who had the kindest face, and I felt so betrayed by her.

But anyways, I just heavily peeled myself off the floor and moved to the side of the bus to stand.

And so I stood there for the rest of the bus ride, as the violent chortles from the ahbengs at the back row continued to painfully echo throughout the bus… and throughout the rest of my teenage life.

The end.

Lol ok I know it sounds really bad but in retrospect I’m so glad it happened because now every time I embarrass myself it’s akin to getting poked by a strand of hair compared to that massive STAB I had at my ego.

Okay that’s it. I updated. I probably won’t update anymore for the rest of the year because CHRISTMAS!! Have a great holiday guys byeee

P.S. Christmas is over and I just wanted to say thank you to every single person who supported the mini merch I sold over Christmas! And to the cool kids who told me how much they love reading the things I write, you guys are awesome. Hope you had a great Christmas! ;)